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Grace-filled living

Sunday, December 01, 2013

Maxine Stroo Brink 鈥67 is inspired by her 98-year-old mother, who, according to Brink, 鈥渉as aged so gracefully.鈥

That gracefulness encouraged Brink to think seriously about her own aging.

 鈥淥ur son suggested to us the possibility of starting an adult family home,鈥 said Brink. 鈥淭here鈥檚 a lot of need for this residential service. I think he鈥檚 hoping we don鈥檛 move in with him.鈥

Maxine and husband, Harvey Brink 鈥66 researched the possibility of such a home after moving back to Washington.

Turned out Washington is a national trendsetter in this area, with 3,000 of these homes, which offer senior citizens an option other than a nursing home. The homes are normal houses located in residential neighborhoods and can be a comfort zone for the senior who enjoys a home-type environment with the same familiar interactions among a small group of seniors and their care provider(s). 

Six years ago, the Brinks decided to buy a house. 鈥淢y mother asked me why I was doing this?鈥 said Maxine Brink. 鈥淔or me it was about stewardship: when you have the energy and ability you can鈥檛 just go sit.鈥

Instead, the Brinks became licensed caregivers, sharing 鈥攁 musical term for moderate tempo鈥攚ith up to six seniors in their late 80s or early 90s, specializing in the care of dementia residents. Maxine became a certified instructor in dementia and mental health.

Maxine and Harvey cook, supervise caregivers and enjoy living day-to-day with the residents.

鈥淭hey are like our family,鈥 said Maxine, who was busy trying out one of the residents鈥 French toast recipes as she spoke. 鈥淪he and I are working on a cookbook, which will include family stories about the recipes; it鈥檚 going to be a gift to her grandchildren.鈥

Reminiscence is very important, according to Brink. 鈥淲e hear the same stories over and over again, but we just laugh and tell them what a great story it is. We joke that dementia is contagious,鈥 she said. 鈥淪ometimes it feels like it is.鈥

During the last six years, the Brinks have learned a lot about dementia. 鈥淐reativity is a big part of it,鈥 she said. 鈥淛ust because something worked to transfer someone once, doesn鈥檛 mean it鈥檚 going to work again today,鈥 she said. 鈥淵ou have to stop and think of alternatives.鈥

Maxine is active with several writing groups. Her collection of poems, Finishing Touches, Living with Dementia, explores aspects of the disease present in Alzheimer鈥檚, Parkinson鈥檚 and vascular dementia. She reads for senior centers, church groups, libraries, encouraging the audience to tell their stories. She .

The title poem Finishing Touches, aptly describes her experience living with those who have dementia (at right).